Perhaps you have
finally found the courage to explore your
interest in BDSM. Terrific!
But be careful; you
are putting your life in the hands of a stranger
... literally! She might be a professional or She
might not, so proceed with caution. And remember,
meeting someone in a club doesn't ensure that
they know what they're doing. The Woman of your
Dreams can easily become your worst nightmare.
If you can afford it,
you might want to consider undergoing your first
experience with an experienced professional.
You'll be able to familiarize yourself with safe
practices before putting yourself into the hands
of an enthusiastic amateur, and ... of equal
importance ... be assured of discretion. Unwanted
disclosure might end your submissive lifestyle
before it begins. And of course with a
professional Dominatrix you'll learn respect ...
for your limits as well as Hers.
The following is a
list of important questions you should be able to
ask Her and expect answers for. If you don't like
the answers you receive (or if you are not
encouraged to ask them), run to the nearest exit
and don't look back.
1. How many
safewords do you recommend, and what are your
procedures for implementing them?
2. What are your
policies on toys ... their use and
sterilization?
3. What medical
training (if any) do you have?
4. What are your
policies on the use of alcohol or drugs prior
to, or during a session?
Here are the answers I
hope you will hear:
1. There should
always be two safewords: one for 'Stop
Immediately!' and one for 'It's getting too
intense for me, I need to catch my breath for
a moment.' Safe implementation means
discussing these words with Mistress PRIOR to
the beginning of the session. She may ask you
to select your safewords ... and those words
should not have any relation to anything
going on in a session. Or She may give you
two of Her own. The most popular safewords
are RED for stop and YELLOW for slow down.
Hand signals should also be selected if you
are to be gagged or unable to speak.
2. Due to STD's,
toys must be scrupulously clean. I do allow
My gentlemen to provide their own toys for
their exclusive use during their visits.
However, I do have resident toys for those
who cannot do so. I clean, disinfect,
sterilize and store all the toys every time
they are used. All "resident" toys
used for invasive procedures during a session
should be sterilized between uses and only
even then covered with a latex condom over
them. Lubricants should never come in direct
contact with anything, not even a latex
covered dildo, vibrator, butt plug or hand in
order to remain uncontaminated. A true
professional is always happy to explain Her
sterilization procedures to a subject.
3. I am CPR and
first aid trained and certified as I believe
all qualified Domina should be. Additionally,
a potential Mistress should ask you about
your medical history before a first session,
including things as diabetes, epilepsy,
asthma, allergies, hypertension, back
problems, hiatal hernias, hemorrhoids, etc.
She should also ask if you have any phobias
that might be triggered, such as
claustrophobia or a fear of heights for
example. And She will probably ask you if you
are on any medication, even aspirin. If you
do have a medical condition or trigger,
please consider entrusting your Mistress with
your doctor's number in case of emergency; to
save your life She might need to dial that
number instantly.
4. Alcoholic
beverages or non-prescription medication must
NEVER be imbibed prior to or during a
session. Only gentlemen in complete control
of their faculties can make a consensual
decision. During and after a session
endorphins course through the bloodstream at
such a rate that you feel giddy or high.
Enjoy the sensation ... don't muck it up. If
a Mistress appears to be under the influence
of anything, run as far and as fast as you
can. If you need to be clear headed, She must
be even more so.
Here are a few other
precautions you can take to make your first (or
thousand-th) experience as wonderful as you've
dreamed it would be with a new Mistress:
Avoid people who
will give you their address and tell you to
come right over. After all, if She thinks so
little of Her own safety, what must She think
of yours? Arrange to meet your potential
Mistress in a public place and be prepared to
show Her identification as well as your full
name, address and telephone number. Do you
really expect a Lady to take you to either
Her residence or business without knowing who
you are? (This does not necessarily apply to
the public Houses of Domination.)
Have a candid
discussion with the Mistress about your
expectations. Tell Her what your experience
has been and what you your hard limits are.
Honest communication is vital as is the trust
between a Mistress and submissive. You have
to openly and honestly communicate in order
to have a sublime session.
A Mistress has a
very difficult job to do. She is charged with
constantly expanding and challenging your
limits, encouraging you to constantly broaden
your horizons and your experiences. A
Mistress also has the responsibility of
keeping your sessions fresh, erotic and
exciting! This requires a high level of
energy, both mental and physical. She needs
feedback from you ... verbal and physical ...
so don't just lie there like a slab of meat.
~ Groan ~Moan ~ Wiggle ~
Finally, an
experienced Mistress will help you return to
the real world once the session ends. She'll
never just release you and say in effect,
"That's it, pal!" She'll also make
provisions for you to shower before you
depart (if it's possible); embarrassment and
humiliation might be permitted in session,
but in the real world, ...
BE CAREFUL and enjoy
the experience!
Lady Scorpion
© 1997